Burger King. You sneaky bastard.
Dear Burger King,
I love your fries. I ordered a double whopper with no onion. I love your burgers too. Even the girl that helped me behind the counter, was polite and complimented me on my shirt.
Which, I must admit, is a pretty witty shirt. Not a lot of people in the 'ghetto' know what a '.JPG' is.
However, THIS:
Is UNACCEPTABLE! An ONION ring? I open up my bag in anticipation of my delicious burger and fries and get completely and utterly disgusted by this sight. As a matter of fact, the burger I already ate almost came back up. In my recent years of eating, I have learned that food only tastes good going down. It's unidirectional.
Unless you have an alcohol-filled night before, to which you wake up next a naked midget, used condom wrappers and a banana with an awkward brown stain on the side and for some reason its smell reminds you of a pair of year old boxers that you've never washed because of some weird year-long experiment on hygeine and how you'd smell after never whiping your ass.
Wait.
That was... uhm... shit. (no pun intended)
ANYWAYS.
Onion ring in my fries is unacceptable, you sneaky bastards. Even though I ate everything (but the onion ring) I demand a refund and a personal apology from the president/CEO of the company.
Sincerely,
Ivan
(just kidding, I was bored and ended up donating that onion to a homeless guy that begs for things. I gotta give him credit though, he didn't beg this time. Mostly because he didn't want it. So I just threw it at him. I blame society. You spoil him by giving him money, but when an honest citizen wants to give him some food? Nope. Doesn't want it. You gotta FORCE them to take it... and sometimes that means an onion ring to the head. Ahh, such is life.)
I love your fries. I ordered a double whopper with no onion. I love your burgers too. Even the girl that helped me behind the counter, was polite and complimented me on my shirt.
Which, I must admit, is a pretty witty shirt. Not a lot of people in the 'ghetto' know what a '.JPG' is.
However, THIS:
Is UNACCEPTABLE! An ONION ring? I open up my bag in anticipation of my delicious burger and fries and get completely and utterly disgusted by this sight. As a matter of fact, the burger I already ate almost came back up. In my recent years of eating, I have learned that food only tastes good going down. It's unidirectional.
Unless you have an alcohol-filled night before, to which you wake up next a naked midget, used condom wrappers and a banana with an awkward brown stain on the side and for some reason its smell reminds you of a pair of year old boxers that you've never washed because of some weird year-long experiment on hygeine and how you'd smell after never whiping your ass.
Wait.
That was... uhm... shit. (no pun intended)
ANYWAYS.
Onion ring in my fries is unacceptable, you sneaky bastards. Even though I ate everything (but the onion ring) I demand a refund and a personal apology from the president/CEO of the company.
Sincerely,
Ivan
(just kidding, I was bored and ended up donating that onion to a homeless guy that begs for things. I gotta give him credit though, he didn't beg this time. Mostly because he didn't want it. So I just threw it at him. I blame society. You spoil him by giving him money, but when an honest citizen wants to give him some food? Nope. Doesn't want it. You gotta FORCE them to take it... and sometimes that means an onion ring to the head. Ahh, such is life.)
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